Europe feels superior to the US for a couple of days

INSIDE SPORT - As the U.S.A lost their game to Czech Republic 0-3, Europe had the opportunity to feel superior for one evening.

"It doesn't happen very often," said Foreign Minister for the Interior, Vladimir Ksychyk, "so today is a day to savour. To paraphrase a song from an American movie with puppets - America! Fuck off!"

Other Western European countries have been quick to jump on the bandwagon, holding their chins up high even though the Czech Republic is still part of what is considered Eastern Europe. An area most Western Europeans have not wanted to claim as their own... until now.

"This is the great thing about the Americans. Since they wouldn't know the difference between Lebanon and the Ukraine, every country has been claiming to be part of the Czech Republic just to piss them off. I even saw some guys from Nigeria claiming to be French which pissed off the Americans nearly as much as it did the French."

The Nigerian team's accommodation was burnt down shortly after the statement was made.
The French have denied involvement, an excuse that has worked pretty well for them in the past.