LOS ANGELES TIMES - In what was arguably the most anticipated delivery in the world since the birth of Jesus (or Geri Halliwell's daughter Bluebell Madonna), Angelina Jolie gave birth to Brad Pitt's daughter Saturday in Africa, Pitt’s publicist announced.
Jolie's publicist has denied the reports but that's only because she's still denying that Jolie is pregnant or attached to Brad Pitt in any way, shape or form.
"The night of May 27, 2006 in Namibia, Africa, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt welcomed their daughter Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. No further information is being given," Pitt Publicist Cindy Guagenti said in a statement.
Further details are also shaky as to what was meant by the phrase "welcomed". Did the baby pop up to be greeted by a firm handshake? Did representatives from the United Nations greet the infant in the 49 commonly agreed languages?
Or did they just give her a quick kiss and send her off to the nanny looking after the recently arrived children of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale, Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck or Geri Halliwell and some guy who should have known better?
LOS ANGELES TIMES - Gwen Stefani, Geri Halliwell, Jennifer Garner, Ben Affleck, Fred Savage, Melissa Joan Hart, Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Gwenyth Paltrow, Rachel Weisz and Britney Spears. These are just some of the people reeling from the news that their column inches in the celebrity rags and E-News puff-pieces are being eaten up by the news of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's baby girl, Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt.
"It really is indecent," quoted an unnamed Scientologist, "Do Brad and Pitt have a film coming out at the moment? No. Does my client, I mean Tom, I mean the Number 1 Hollywood star in the world have a movie out now? I'm not talking about Tom Hanks. I know he has a movie out. I'm talking about Tom Cruise. He's got a film out. Yes. We went to a lot of effort to get Katie to pretend to carry a baby for nine months. And for what? We still haven't made back the contribution to the Scientology founders to allow Tom to go up to the next level yet, let alone production costs for the film. Inconsiderate."
Britney Spears had this to say via her publicist, "What? What? You put Geri Halliwell in the same list of A celebrities as me and Melissa Joan Hart? Are you f#$king mad? Look at my baby. Look at me. WE ARE BEAUTIFUL. F%CK, I dropped it again."
We did want to talk to the other worthy celebrities, but unfortunately we ran out of column inches in the desire to carry this picture of Angelina and Brad with the rest of the kids in Africa. Aren't they cute? (And doesn't the image have just a touch of Da Vinci's The Last Supper about it? Or is that just me?)
LOS ANGELES TIMES - In what was arguably the most anticipated delivery in the world since the birth of Jesus (or Geri Halliwell's daughter Bluebell Madonna), Angelina Jolie gave birth to Brad Pitt's daughter Saturday in Africa, Pitt’s publicist announced.
