Missing British tourist found safe - Backpacker Adbucting Association promise they will "try harder" next time

SYDNEY MORNING HERALD - A 24-year-old British tourist missing for over a week was found today on the Central Coast.

Ms Embleton had last been seen at the Three Wise Monkeys bar in Sydney's CBD on April 22 and there were fears that she had been abducted. Fears that were allayed by her appearance at the Gosford Police Station.

"Yeah, we pretty much assumed she was a goner," admitted Police Sargeant Terry O'Keefe, "I mean it's pretty rare that any of these English backpackers are lookers and you can see she's a bit of a honey. If I was into abducting I would have picked her. I'm not obviously, because I'm a cop, but we all have hobbies on the weekend and, well, I think I might just close the press conference there. Thank you for coming. "

Police said she had told a bar patron she had lost the money for her return flight while gambling at Star City casino.

She later failed to appear at a farewell party planned for her by friends, and missed her flight from Sydney Airport the following Monday.

Ms Francis Mary Embleton explained the non-appearance at the party by stating it was just a bunch of Aussie friends she didn't like and was never going to see again anyway. Missing the plane took a little bit more explaining on her part.

"I did lose the money at the casino," Ms Embleton confessed, "and I thought I would just turn a few tricks to get the money for the airfare back."

Unfortunately for Ms Embleton, none of the high rollers at the Star City casino were interested in paying her money to try and pick which of the three cups had a ball hidden under it or to watch her juggle.

"When it seemed like that was going nowhere I decided to call it quits and spent the rest of the night indulging in hard core sexual fantasies for corporate high fliers. If only there was a way of making money out of doing that kind of thing I would have been right to pay my flight."

No one has pointed out how she lost her money to pay for a flight that she had obviously already booked at least a few days before the flight was meant to take place. Maybe she's just stupid.