LOS ANGELES TIMES -It has taken some time for the stats to come in, but, against all the odds, the Scientology Christmas display on Hollywood Boulevard has exceeded all previous audience estimates for the third year running.The picture shows the hoards of children dragging their parents towards the display just so they can sit on Santa's knee and embrace the "trusting" message of L Ron Hubbard and his bravely misunderstood tax evaders and space aliens.
Not even Santa bothered to hang around after two children expressed their views on Scientology in the only way they knew how. (See picture below
"You know, we did this in a spirit of Christmas and good will," said one Scientology representative, "We even have a guy selling hotdogs (pictured just off frame to the left). Well, he would be if he had someone to sell them to."
The scientologists are said to be confused why people don't trust them. Says one Scientology representative from the Hollywood Celebrity Centre:
"Just because we took the idea of rebirth from the Buddhists, Christmas from Judaism (and Coca-Cola) and the stuff about aliens from C grade science fiction writers, all of a sudden people don't trust us. Oh, and the whole 'Snow White' thing, the fact we sued the Washington Post for giving away the secret about Xenu and the DC8 space aeroplanes and that the whole 'religion' states psych drugs can't be used when L Ron Hubbard died while doped to his eye balls on Vistaril. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is... I really shoudn't have just told you that and I need to enter a witness protection programme. Right now. Help me."When questioned, the Archbishop of Canterbury (who just happened to be cruising around Sunset and Gower in his Humvee on a sojourn from England) spoke with a funny accent and pretended he didn't hear before driving away rapidly. We put this down to him being British.
No comments:
Post a Comment