"Thank fuck, he's dead. Everyone knows that I'm the brains of the business" - James Packer"Pilot Nick Ross asks Kerry Packer estate for his kidney back."
"Rupert Murdoch dies of relief after hearing news."
"Jessica Rowe regrets decision to break contract with Ten to move to Nine two days before Packer death."
"Ten and seven win bid for AFL television rights over Channel 9."
"Cricketers stand in silence on Boxing Day to mourn Kerry Packer instead of the thousands of less important people that died a year ago in the tsunami."
"Murdoch finally feels safe handing reigns to underachieving sons."
"Crown Casino business drops 90% overnight."
"Australians rejoice over news that all media will soon be controlled by a monopoly based in the US instead of a duopoly."
"Now we can finally write that film about the rebel cricket tour and not get sued."
"Everybody in Australia Rich List happy in knowledge they will move up one place."
"First death of an Australian to make news in America since Pharlap."
"John Howard announces resignation after realising there will be a massive hole in the Liberal campaign budget. Costello pissed."
"No Slacker Packer Whacks a Clacker" (The Sun - London)
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