Obama still waiting until January when he takes office and changes he world

Obama waits until January when he can actually do something

Obama picks McCain to lead his Ministry of Youth

NEW YORK TIMES - Senator Obama last night dropped a bombshell by announcing former presidential candidate and opponent Senator John McCain would spearhead his Ministry of Youth.

The move was seen by many as a gesture to the man he has spent the last five months of his life sparing. 

"You've also got to think of this as a symbolic gesture towards creating a bipartisan group of advisers," said one Obama aide. "The fact that Senator McCain is being put into a position where he has no experience in the last 57 years of his life is not a reason to think he has been set up to fail."

Senator McCain has signalled he will accept the post and has already given an indication of possible policy directions by once again recounting his time as a prisoner of war in Vietnam.  

Obama takes a dump - Woo hoo

Obama starts picking his team

Obama wins landslide

LOS ANGELES TIMES - After a "long drawn out campaign" of exactly the same length as the last five US Presidential Elections, Senator Barack Obama became the 44th President of the United States.

In a competition in which he required only 270 electoral votes to clinch victory, Obama won a landslide with over 360 Electoral votes secured at time of going to press.

He will now be reported upon endlessly by the breathless media until his first attempt to walk on water fails or we reach the end of the year to find that world poverty has not been eliminated. Or that it has been two months and he still hasn't actually taken office yet and the world has already moved on.

Such high hopes for someone that really, when you think about, only has to string an entire sentence together using words of more than one syllable or make one decision for the greater good to do better than his predecessor George W Bush.

I can't think of anything funny to add but I needed to write something so that I can do a running gag over the next week. I did think about some reference to winning on a landslide that in turned wiped out a small village of republican senators and Mexicans, but I don't think it would have been worth it.

 

Binge drinking rife among AFL players

IT'S ALL LIES - In the final of our triptych of stupid surveys for the post Halloween weekend, The Herald Sun has just revealed that AFL players are binge-drinking at up to six times the rate of other young Australian men.

The anonymous survey of 582 AFL players has uncovered "extremely high" rates of "risky drinking" among the elite of Aussie rules.

"I think this survey sends an important message," said Peter Jackson, head of the AFL Players' Association," that as a whole, Australian men have really dropped the ball when it comes to drinking heavily. After all, that is what this proud country is known for.

"We can't just leave it to our elite sportsman to carry the weight of our binge drinking reputation. I urge all other Australian men to pick up their game and get up to the 86 standard drinks average per fortnight being maintained by AFL's finest and most sloshed."